Mount Moriah Road
by kdillmanjones
Why that day was any different, we had no idea. We had walked to the creek hundreds of times, but never bothered to notice Carson’s farm, to consider the nooks and crannies of what was once someone’s life.
I see someone, no really, and other such mumbling.
The moaning echoed through our bodies, that pang of loneliness.
We knew, then, as we ached along with it, that no human produced such a wail. So we paused, there on Mount Moriah Road, wounded together. It would happen to us all, this deterioration. We couldn’t escape it. Nor could we soothe it.
* Author’s note: This is part of a 100-word writing challenge, found here.
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A waking reality. Nicely done.
You caught a pathos we will all have to face sometime…that moment of realization we are fading away like the barn…nice.
Stark reality invades the dream. Nice work, Kristin.
shalom,
Rochelle
There is a lovely nostalgic tone to your writing, and especially how the narrator identifies with the barn. What I was confused about (and this is probably me, not grasping things properly) was the line ‘I see someone, no really, and other such mumbling.’
I wanted to leave that line ambiguous, so we aren’t sure who was talking or even what exactly what was said.
A deep truth !!!
Very well done. Excellent in fact!
Tom
Oh, thank you!
Good parallels there.
Whew do we want to admit this is our lot in life? The transition to the down slope!
… no human produced such a wail … I’m wondering what this is and why it is something we cannot escape. A true mystery that could go in any direction. (Not just down)! I want to read more. Ann
you left me with a sense of aching. nicely done piece.
A melancholy note here that’s very good ..
Great story. Enjoyed it.