No living
by kdillmanjones
Eez good? Eez, uh, be okay? No trooble, no trooble.
Her hand shook, not in the usual way. This was no Parkinson’s.
Eez, uh, how you say, no living?
As her designer shoes ascended the stairs, the footwear of a true aristocrat, I saw what was following her. You could watch an entire life pass by on those stairs, ever spiraling from womb to grave. But it wasn’t life that was following her.
Yes, Ma’am. It’s dead. We say dead.
The sterile indifference it showed her, tagging along behind, left me frozen in my own fear.
Eez be okay?
* Author’s note: This is part of a 100-word writing challenge called Friday Fictioneers. Photo copyright– Jennifer Pedergast.
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No, I doubt “Eez be okay?” Nicely creepy!
janet
Whats following her??? Creepy as hell! Eee…!
The accent is really good here. I could picture this really well, except for whatever was following her! Very well done!
My goodness that’s creepy. I can’t tell you what I was imagining… Loved it.
A good story. The accent gives it a Transylvania feeling
Eez got a long way down…
Neatly built suspense.
Well done.
I love the metaphor of the stairs for the whole of life. And a chilling story.
A bit of a chill in the air nipping at her designer shoes.
The nameless thing following her has a Lovecraftian-horror feel to it. I like it.
The writing was wonderful, and the atmosphere creepy!
I didn’t get “creepy” out of this like everyone else. I liked the “after death what comes next?” question it put in my head, though.
A hair-raising story. To be followed by death. Great story.
nicely done
Somehow I thought what was following her was a dead mink stole…
Very well done, but the Death I saw was much more like Robert Redford’s “Twilight Zone” portrayal than the creepy version most everyone else saw.
Creepy creepy. I’m picturing all sorts of nastiness following her!
I liked the stairs as a metaphor for life, but still imagined all sorts of dead things following her!
I’m curious about the identity of the observer/narrator….Good story and creative take on the prompt.
I think developing the narrator would be a nice way to extend this story. Thanks for the comment!
http://www.kdillmanjones.com
No way to take it Eezy
very good write.
Eez not okay. To borrow a line from the movie Forrest Gump ” RUN FORREST, RUN!
Creepy seems to be the favourite comment here, and I won’t argue with that, but what a great imagination!
where you took us!! and i love this line “You could watch an entire life pass by on those stairs, ever spiraling from womb to grave”… really creepy but really cool
love where you took us** ^^
Eez good? Yes, i say, eez good.
Aloha,
Doug
shook
no Parkinson’s.
no living
footwear of a true aristocrat
sterile
frozen
fear